*Editors Note: The following excerpt is from St. Augustine’s work “Confessions.” (Book 8, Chapter 12).

Augustine’s Conversion

So soon therefore as a deep consideration even from the secret bottom of my soul, had drawn together and laid all my misery upon one heap before the eyes of my heart; there rose up a mighty storm, bringing as mighty a shower of tears with it; which that I might pour forth with such expressions as suited best with them, I rose from Alypius: for I conceived that solitariness was more fit for a business of weeping. So far off then I went, as that even his presence might not be troublesome unto me. Thus disposed was I at that time, and he perceived of it; something I believe I had said before, which discovered the sound of my voice to be big with weeping, and in that case I rose from him. He thereupon stayed alone where we sat together, most extremely astonished. I flung down myself I know not how, under a certain fig tree, giving all liberty to my tears: whereupon the floods of mine eyes gushed out, an acceptable sacrifice to thee, O Lord. And though not perchance in these very words, yet much to this purpose said I unto thee: And thou, O Lord, how long, how long, Lord, wilt thou be angry,^* for ever? Remember not our former iniquities: (for I found myself to be still enthralled by them). Yea, I sent up these miserable exclamations, How long? how long still “to-morrow,” and “to-morrow”? Why not now? Wherefore even this very hour is there not an end put to my uncleanness?

Thus much I uttered, weeping, in the most bitter contrition of my heart: whenas behold I heard a voice from some neighbour’s house, as it had been of a boy or girl, I know not whether, in a singing tune saying, and often repeating: Take up and read, Take up and read. Instantly changing my countenance thereupon, I began very heedfully to bethink myself, whether children were wont in any kind of playing to sing any such words: nor could I remember myself ever to have heard the like Whereupon refraining the violent torrent of my tears, up I gat me; interpreting it no other way, but that I was from God himself commanded to open the book, and to read that chapter which I should first light upon. For I had heard of Anthony, that by hearing of the Gospel which he once chanced to come in upon, he took himself to be admonished, as if what was read, had purposely been spoken unto him: Go, and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven, and come and follow me: and by such a miracle that he was presently converted unto thee. Hastily therefore went I again to that place where Alypius was sitting; for there had I laid the Apostle’s book whenas I rose from thence. I snatched it up, I opened it, and in silence I read that chapter which I had first cast mine eyes upon: Not in rioting and drunkenness,^* not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying: but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ; and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof. No further would I read; nor needed I. For instantly even with the end of this sentence, by a light as it were of confidence now darted into my heart, all the darkness of doubting vanished away.

Shutting up the book thereupon, and putting my finger between, or I know not what other mark, with a well-quieted countenance I discovered all this unto Alypius. And he again in this manner revealed unto me what also was wrought in his heart, which I verily knew nothing of. He requested to see what I had read: I shewed him the place; and he looked further than I had read, nor knew I what followed. This followed: Him that is weak in faith, receive: which he applied to himself, and shewed it to me. And by this admonition was he strengthened, and unto that good resolution and purpose (which was most agreeable to his disposition, wherein he did always very far differ from me, to the better) without all turbulent delaying did he now apply himself. From thence went we into the house unto my mother: we discover ourselves, she rejoices for it; we declare in order how everything was done; she leaps for joy, and triumpheth, and blessed thee, who art able to do above that which we ask or think; for that she perceived thee to have given her so much more concerning me, than she was wont to beg by her pitiful and most doleful groanings. For so thou convertedst me unto thyself, as that I sought now no more after a wife, nor any other hopes in this world: standing thus upon the same rule of faith, in which thou hadst shewed me unto her in a vision, so many years before. Thus didst thou convert her mourning into rejoicing, and that much more plentifully than she had desired, and with a much dearer and a chaster joy, than she erst required from any grandchildren of my body.

Augustine of Hippo, St. Augustine’s Confessions, vol.1, ed. T. E. Page and W. H. D. Rouse, trans. William Watts, The Loeb Classical Library (London; New York: William Heinemann; The Macmillan Co., 1912), 463–467.