There is a Friend Who Sticks Closer Than a Brother | Sam Waldron

by | Aug 1, 2024 | Practical Theology, Sermons, Systematic Theology

 

Introduction

A wonderful old hymn begins with these words: One there is above all others well deserves the name of friend … This hymn was written by John Newton, the famous author of Amazing Grace. One There Is Above All Others is perhaps Newton’s second most famous hymn.  It is based on a well-known proverb found in Proverbs 18:24. John Newton was a preacher, and this hymn is a little sermon on that text.

Proverbs 18:24 A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Newton clearly understands this proverb to speak of Jesus.  While I do not suspect that any of you will want to challenge this, it will be good to justify this interpretation briefly. I think I need to say two things about this interpretation.

First, we do not need to think that it is only or exclusively of Jesus that this proverb speaks. No doubt the wise man had in mind many individuals who fit the description of a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Perhaps Solomon was thinking, for instance, of how Jonathan was such a friend to his own father, David.

Second, we must remember that the entire Bible including the wisdom literature—like the Book of Proverbs—has a center point and focus, and that center is Jesus Christ Himself. There is a line from every verse in the Bible to Jesus Christ, and in the case of our verse that line is not hard to see.  Jesus was mocked as “the friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Luke 7:34).  But this was no slander.  He really was (and is) the friend of sinners.  We His people are sinners, and he calls us His friends.

John 15:13-15  13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.  14 “You are My friends if you do what I command you.  15 “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

So it is right to find Jesus in Proverbs 18:24 because he is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Indeed, he is the friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Without denying that there may and must be applications of this text to other friendships, we must affirm that there must be and is an application of its teaching to Jesus, the great friend of His people.  Understanding it of him, then, I want you to see five things about this great friend in it.  The first is this:

 

The Reality of This Friend

The first thing that the text makes clear about this unusual and unique friend is that He does exist.  There is such a friend.  It is a fact.  It is a reality.  There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  When we are hurt, when we are wounded by so-called friends, when we are disappointed by our friends, we may become cynical and doubt if there are any true friends.  In our hurt we may say “all men are liars” (Psalm 116:11), and there are no true friends.  Our text, however, assures us that such a friend does exist.  His name is Jesus the Christ.  This is why John Newton begins his marvelous little hymn this way:

One, there is, above all others

Well deserves the name of friend

His is love beyond a brothers

Costly, free, and knows no end

They who once his kindness prove

Find it everlasting love

We must never as believers forget in all our trouble and fear and doubt that Jesus does exist and that He exists to be our everlasting friend!

 

The Rarity of This Friend

Another thing we can notice from our text is the rarity of this friend. That is, this friend of which the proverb speaks is a rare, unique, and matchless friend. This is clear from a comparison of our text with another text about friendship in Proverbs. Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

Here friends and brothers are equated, but we see the matchless character of the friend in our text from its saying that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This reminds me of the emphasis on the unparalleled love of Christ in Romans 5:6-8. 6 For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  7 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.  8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. This is why Newton penned his second verse.

Which of all our friends to save us,

Could or would have shed their blood?

But our Jesus died to have us

Reconciled, in Him to God:

This was boundless love indeed!

Jesus is a Friend in need.

Dear Christian, no one loves you like the Lord Jesus.  The love of your dearest friend in all the world is a mere shadow of the love of this friend who sticks closer than a brother!  You may trust your deepest fears to Him.  You may confide your biggest concerns to Him.  Roll your burden on the Lord, and He (because He is your greatest friend) will sustain you.

 

The Faithfulness of This Friend

The faithfulness or constancy of this friend is also clearly emphasized in our text.  This friend of which the wise man speaks “sticks closer than a brother.” The Hebrew word translated “sticks closer” conveys just that idea. It is first used in the Bible of the permanent companionship of marriage. Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

It is used of the inheritances of the different tribes of Israel that were to stick forever to the tribe they were originally given. Numbers 36:7 “Thus no inheritance of the sons of Israel shall be transferred from tribe to tribe, for the sons of Israel shall each hold to the inheritance of the tribe of his fathers. Numbers 36:9 “Thus no inheritance shall be transferred from one tribe to another tribe, for the tribes of the sons of Israel shall each hold to his own inheritance.”

Thus, the force or thrust of the text is the faithfulness of this friend. He never gives up and never gives over loving us. Clearly, Jesus has manifested this kind of love for His people. John 13:1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.

So Newton’s emphasis in the next two verses of his hymn on this aspect of Christ’s friendship for us is thoroughly justified.

Men, when raised to lofty stations,

Often know their friends no more;

Slight and scorn their poor relations

Though they valued them before.

But our Savior always owns

Those whom He redeemed with groans.

And the next verse has the same emphasis.

When He lived on earth abasèd,

Friend of sinners was His name;

Now, above all glory raisèd,

He rejoices in the same:

Still He calls them brethren, friends,

And to all their wants attends.

The one who is now the Lord of glory—the one who is exalted above the heavens—the one who was the friend of sinners on earth and your friend still remembers you, has not forgotten you, and will hear you on His throne of grace.

 

The Forbearance of This Friend

Implied in Proverbs 18:24 is that friendship always faces challenges. We do things that strain our friendships with people. We certainly do things that naturally strain our relationship with the Savior. Yet in spite of these stresses and strains on our friendship, this friend continues to “stick closer than a brother.”

The word for friend used in the text strongly emphasizes the love of this friend.  It could be translated beloved.  There is a beloved who sticks closer than a brother.  Because His friendship is characterized by such love, it overcomes all the challenges and un-kindnesses with which we offend it.

We remember here the sad abandonment of the savior by all his disciples in the garden. Mark 14:50 And they all left Him and fled. This theme of the abandonment of our savior and friend in his hour of great need is exemplified in the betrayal of Peter. Mark 14:70 But again he denied it. And after a little while the bystanders were again saying to Peter, “Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean too.”  71 But he began to curse and swear, “I do not know this man you are talking about!”  72 Immediately a rooster crowed a second time. And Peter remembered how Jesus had made the remark to him, “Before a rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times.” And he began to weep. This account of Peter is not to be understood as revealing some unique depravity of Peter. Peter is presented, I think we would all admit, as the representative of all Jesus’ weak disciples. We all are weak and waffling Peter!

Thus, Newton properly emphasizes this in the next verse of his hymn

Could we bear from one another,

What He daily bears from us?

Yet this glorious Friend and Brother,

Loves us though we treat Him thus:

Though for good we render ill,

He accounts us brethren still.

Is there a believer who feels that He has so offended His Savior that His love or at least the experience and blessings of His love are gone forever? It is not true.  Return to Him in spite of all your offenses, and He will certainly return to you.

This is your great friend, Jesus, believer. This is His reality, His rarity, His faithfulness, and His loving forbearance toward you. Now is there anything you would like to say to Him? Newton had something he wanted to say after reflecting on all this. And that brings us to …

 

The Appeal to This Friend

Newton ends his hymn this way:

O for grace our hearts to soften!

Teach us, Lord, at length to love;

We, alas! forget too often,

What a Friend we have above:

But when home our souls are brought,

We will love Thee as we ought.

Newton applies his sermon in three ways in this verse.  Let me point them out to you.

First, he asks His friend, Jesus, to give him a softer heart by teaching him to love Jesus as he ought.  This implies too an appeal for grace to love others as Jesus, his great friend, has loved him.  If we loved Jesus in any way as he has loved us, what a difference it would make in our lives!  What a difference it would make in how we loved and treated others!  What a difference it would make in our evangelism if we imitated Him and became ourselves a friend of sinners.  Take some time to pray for Jesus to teach you to have a softer heart toward Him and like Him toward others.

Second, Newton confesses his sinful forgetfulness.  We, alas! forget too often what a friend we have above.  We do, don’t we?  If we could but remember what a friend we have above, what a help this would be to us in trouble.  We would not feel so lonely or abandoned or fearful or worried, if we remembered what a friend we have above. I urge you, dear believer, to remember in all your difficulty which is real what a faithful, patient, matchless, and real friend you have in Jesus Christ.  Tonight, take some time as we worship at the Table to remember your friend.

Third, Newton reminds himself us that a time is coming when we will love Jesus as we should and be perfectly happy.  We are going home!  And when we get home, we shall find it a place of perfect love.  We will live with one who is a beloved and loving friend, and we will not mar that love by our own selfish ingratitude.  What a wonderful prospect! It would be right and profitable simply to reflect on this while we worship at the Table.

 

Closing Lesson  

Some of you do not know if Jesus is your friend. Some of you have no reason to think that Jesus is your friend. But he is willing to be your friend no matter who you are. He will receive you if you come asking for His friendship. Sinners who seek His friendship and entrust themselves to His friendship find Him to be the best of all friends.  “When He lived on earth abasèd, Friend of sinners was His name; Now, above all glory raisèd, He rejoices in the same: Still He calls them brethren, friends, And to all their wants attends.”

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