*Editor’s Note: The following is a sermon manuscript in a three-part series preached by Pastor Brice Bigham. To listen to that sermon, click here.
Once all three sermon manuscripts have been posted on the CBTS, they will be linked together here.
This evening, we’re continuing our brief study on sinful anger. The goal of this series is to help us discern where sinful anger is at work in our lives, and to equip us with Scripture truth that will help us to bring it into subjection to Christ.
Last week, we distinguished sinful anger from righteous anger, and we sought to show the roots of both. This week, with God’s help, my goal is to show you the fruits of anger, or anger’s expression: what anger does.
In this, we’ll be guided by Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:26-31. Please follow along with me as I read God’s word:
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil… 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
We’re going to open this subject under three headings
I. The Disguises of Anger
Anger has many disguises that we need to think about
As sinners, we’re skilled at using language that minimizes a sin in order to soften the appearance of what we’re doing. It goes like this: I’m not angry, I’m frustrated, or I’m irritated. And we don’t stop with making it neutral, but it can even be spoken of as though it were a good thing. “I’m just venting how I feel.”
This word “venting,” in particular, is a common justification for anger in our culture. Not only is venting seen as an excuse for sinful anger, but professionals recommend it as a healthy and righteous expression. This assumption is almost universally accepted in the world around us, and I fear, perhaps by some of us as well.
According to the world, anger is like boiling water in a pot, the steam of self-expression, unnaturally suppressed within the mind. The healthy thing, according to many psychologists and pop-culture gurus, is to let that steam out! Life is about expressing the true self, and this includes angry thoughts, so long as it doesn’t result in physical violence, that is. And so, it has become a common assumption in our culture that venting our anger is a good thing. But is this what God thinks about it?
Well, the Scripture does have something to say about venting anger. Let’s hear what the Proverbs have to say about it:
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. (Prov. 29:11)
This verse directly contradicts contemporary thinking about anger. According to God, giving full vent to your sinful anger is not virtuous, but foolish. Speaking in anger is an excellent way to show off foolishness. But it is the wise who control it, who consider carefully and act righteously.
Several other Proverbs illustrate the unhelpful practice of venting sinful anger. Far from healthy self-expression, it makes situations much worse!
15:1 – A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
In venting our sinful anger in harsh words, we stir up anger in others that didn’t exist before. This does not diffuse the situation but pours gasoline on the fire!
12:18 – “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Our anger, expressed aloud in sinful speech, does great damage to those we speak with. This text compares it to violent thrusts of a sword which wound and destroy, contrasted with the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Proverbs 15:18 calls an angry person a hot-tempered man and says that his habit is to stir up strife and contention. But the one who is wise and slow to anger brings peace, healing, and quiets contention.
This term “venting” is not the only way that sinful anger is disguised among us. There are many other disguises, or excuses, for this sin.
Rather than using the Biblical words that we see in the Proverbs, anger, hot-tempered, quick-tempered, given to anger, wrathful man, etc., we can disguise our sin by using words that soften or even justify our sin. We say things like “I’m just frustrated,” or “I’m annoyed right now,” or “I’m just telling you how I feel.” At other times, we can disguise our anger with excuses. “I’m just tired,” or “I was not acting like myself.”
The child throwing a tantrum in the grocery store “just missed their nap.” The angry dad “just had a hard day.” The customer yelling in the store says, “It’s their fault.”
As we discussed last week, these things are occasions of sinful anger, but they are not the true cause of anger in the heart.
I can’t find an occasion in Scripture where we are encouraged to express sinful anger in a kind of neutral way. Can you find a place where someone was “just frustrated,” or “just a little angry,” without sin?
The idea here seems to be that if it’s just a little anger, then we can rename it and justify it. But this is kind of like saying, there is only a little bit of poison in the cup, so it’s fine. A little sin, brethren, is still sin. If the flow of anger is a trickle, that trickle can still flood a house.
Brethren, we need to be careful that we are not disguising our anger to avoid facing what the Bible says about it. If you are constantly “frustrated,” consider whether the Bible phrase “hot-tempered” or “quick-tempered” is a more biblical way to think of yourself. When we open ourselves up to this, we invite the Word of God to begin to powerfully discern the thoughts and intentions of our hearts.
None of us wants to think of himself like the foolish man of Proverbs, but wisdom is recognizing that the Proverbs, in one way or another, speak about all of us. We all can act foolishly. If we cover up our sin with soft and self-justifying terminology, we dismiss the blessing the Proverbs give us in identifying our sin and bringing it to the mercy seat.
So, brethren, when it comes to our sin, let’s seek to use Scripture words. You’re not “just saying how you feel”; you are giving full vent to your anger. You’re not just a little frustrated, you’re sinfully angry.
Having considered some of the disguises of anger…
II. The Fruits of Anger
…Let’s now consider the fruits of anger as seen in Ephesians 4:31. Again the Holy Spirit says to us:
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Paul lists six fruits of anger in this verse. I believe that this list of angry sins appears in the order of their development and severity. The first word is something within the heart that is not always obvious on the outside, and the last word is outright opposition and enmity.
I think this is instructive because it indicates how the fruits of anger mature in our hearts. If we can become skilled at recognizing what it looks like early on, we can prevent many sorrows and deal with them while it is still in the heart and not yet expressed publicly.
And so, I want to do a brief study on each of these words so that we can understand what each of them means and how they develop from one another.
But first, notice that Paul says that we should put off these sins, or put them away. If you are familiar with your New Testament, then you know that Paul uses this put off and put on approach to sanctification in a few places (Col. 3:8-10; Eph. 4:25). This is an important pattern.
We are, by the Spirit, to put off our sin like an old and tattered garment; and we are to put on virtue and holiness like a royal robe. We must replace what we put off with what is righteous, what is Christ-like. And if we are in Christ, then we are able to put off these sins of anger by the power of the Holy Spirit.
That is encouraging, brothers and sisters! We have new creation power at work in us, which is able to cleanse us from this sin!
This evening, we’re going to speak about what we must put off from verse 31, and then next week we will consider what we must put on in its place with the help of God.
A. Bitterness
First, Paul says we must put away all bitterness.
This word, bitterness, speaks of an inward disposition a person has in reaction to something or someone. It is to harbor harsh feelings, negative attitudes, and internal animosity towards someone. James uses the word this way in 3:14: “if you have bitter jealousy…in your hearts…” This bitterness is seen in Joseph’s brothers as a source of malice, who “hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.”
This bitterness is usually concealed and is sometimes harder to spot by others. It affects the way that we react to a person, but it often falls short of approaching the person to make the offense known clearly. The fact that this sin is quiet makes it seem like a sin of little consequence. But bitterness is a destructive sin that results when our hearts bear a grudge toward others.
This bitterness shows up in a few ways. There is avoidance, silence, the cold shoulder, and even a sort of sour or unkind attitude towards another person. We must recognize this for what it is, brethren, and put it away. Are you harboring bitterness towards anyone in your heart? This is sinful anger.
If you’re not able to overlook something in a person, the Bible says that you should go to them and, as much as it depends upon you, put it right. We should never allow bitterness to fester within us, or we open ourselves up to a greater harvest of anger.
B. Wrath
Second, Paul says that we must put away wrath. This is a word that means passion, particularly a state of intense displeasure or indignation. It is used to describe the rage of the Ephesians in Acts 19:28: “When they heard this they were enraged and were crying out, “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians!”
This word is also used in Gal. 5:20, where it is translated as “fits of rage,” or “outbursts of anger.” I think the word is best understood as a fit, or an occasioned kind of temper tantrum.
You know what this can look like in children, but there’s an adult version of this as well. The expression of it may differ, but it is the raw response of sinful anger expressed by someone out loud.
Like the “fit” of anger that you’ve seen expressed in a store when you observed a man being angry with an employee. Or the impatient snapping of a father at his child, offended by something he has done. It’s a momentary flare-up occasioned by something that has happened.
Are you someone who allows wrath, or fits of rage, to burst out during moments of displeasure? Paul says that this is something that must be put away from us.
C. Anger
Third, Paul says that we must put away anger. This is the same word that is used in 4:26, there also translated “anger.” In the Greek text, it is the word, orge, and while in many ways it is similar to the previous word and synonymous, I think there is a distinction between them.
In surveying the usage of the two words throughout Scripture, I think that this is the kind of anger that is deeper than just a momentary blow-up at something annoying. We may think of this kind of anger as more deliberate, held onto, or ongoing, in contrast to a simple outburst. This is the disposition of anger that characterizes a person who has unresolved or consistent anger.
Do you have a disposition of anger towards someone or some situation? The Lord says that we must put it away.
D. Clamor
Fourthly, Paul says that we must put away clamor. This word means to shout, or to raise the voice. It’s used in Acts 23:9 to describe the shouting of the Pharisees among the angry crowd.
In the context of negative speech, it means to raise the voice or to shout back and forth in an argument. For most of us, this is one of the most common signs of anger. We immediately know someone is experiencing anger when they begin to raise their voice unnaturally.
In many households, raising the voice can be so commonplace that it seems almost part of the culture of the home. But brethren, Paul calls this sin that must be put away.
How many conflicts have been resolved through shouting? Shouting is the dialect of destruction; it’s the accent of angry speech. Shouting always increases anger and makes a conflict worse. And it always dishonors both the one who is the recipient and the one who shouts.
Shouting reveals that we are not interested in loving the person across from us and patiently resolving our differences. Instead, it demeans a person and seeks to wrestle them down by turning up the volume on them.
Some of you may struggle with conflict in your marriage. I challenge you to see what might change for the good if you commit to never shouting at your spouse.
This sin of clamor is not to be tolerated by Christians. Are you someone who struggles consistently with raising your voice in anger? The Lord says that we must put away clamor.
E. Slander
Fifthly, Paul says that we must put away slander. This word, blasphemia, is speech that denigrates, demeans, or defames; it is reviling, disrespectful, dishonest, and abusive speaking. Paul uses the verbal form of this word in 1 Cor. 10:30, “If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?” And again in Titus 3:2, where it is rendered, “to speak evil of no one.”
Brothers and sisters, anger and the raising of the voice are very often accompanied by slanderous speech. Anytime that we say something about another person that is even slightly disrespectful, demeaning, or dishonest, we are slandering.
I want to enlarge on an illustration that I brought up last week. A husband and wife are arguing, and the husband, in a desire to win the argument, says something about the wife that is somewhat true but contains a key detail that is exaggerated.
Something like, “You’re always nagging me.” But in examining that statement, it is an exaggeration. Actually, the wife is not always nagging him. Lately, as she has become aware of the tendency, she has been trying her best to ask him things in a more respectful way – but he throws demeaning speech upon her sincere but imperfect efforts, and effectively covers over it with hyperbole.
She then becomes angry because of his false accusation. The husband’s statement is a demeaning exaggeration. It’s unhelpful because it is untrue and was used as a tool to demean his wife, staining her character so that he could win an argument.
Brothers and sisters, when you are in a conflict with someone, is it your habit to speak with as much precision and respect for the person’s good name as is possible? When we’re angry, we must focus our anger upon what is true, not build up a caricature of the person so that we can easily knock it over. Slander is very destructive in relationships, and Paul says we must put it away, and speak the truth with our neighbor.
F. Malice
Finally, Paul says that we must put away all malice. The word means wickedness, evil, or depravity. In our context, it involves a “mean-spirited, or vicious attitude or disposition…ill-will.” Brothers and sisters, this is getting close to the final destination of anger. This is hatred of the heart. Malice murders in the heart long before it does so with the hands. Malice can be silent and suppressed, or it can be verbalized in rotten speech, or in violent acts.
When we malign someone, whether silently or out loud, we are dehumanizing them and murdering them in our hearts. Do you carry malice toward someone? Have you desired their harm, or for ill to come upon them? We must put away all malice.
These are the fruits of anger, of which the Holy Spirit has commanded to put away from among us. May God help us to do this!
III. The Cost of Anger
But lastly, I want to move to our third heading and show you some of the cost of anger, as warned by the Apostle Paul right here in Ephesians 4. What is anger doing to you spiritually, in your homes, and in your church?
A. Opportunity for the Devil
First, Paul says anger gives an opportunity for the Devil.
In Ephesians 4:26-27, we read: “Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Now I think all of us believe in the activity of the devil, who prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But I think we tend to misunderstand his strategy. We often think of the devil’s activities in terms of the “big” things in our lives, whether they be scandalous sins, national elections, wars, pride parades, etc.
But have you stopped to consider that the Devil delights in disrupting the Kingdom of God by tempting Christians to commit seemingly “small” everyday sins like yelling at their kids or spouse? These so called “little” sins are just as damaging to our relationships as the big ones. According to Paul, prolonging anger in your home is like giving a house key to the Devil, you are inviting him in to tempt you and others to commit sins that will destroy your home or your church.
The text says that we are not to let the sun go down on our anger. This means that we should not harbor anger in our hearts for very long, even by the end of the day, if possible. It is biblical wisdom to deal with it quickly, before it hardens into bitterness or even malice. This verse teaches that we are to resolve our anger relatively quickly. If we let our anger go too long beyond a day, we are prolonging anger and giving opportunity to the devil.
B. Tearing Down Others with Rotten Speech
Second, another cost of sinful anger is that we tear down others with rotten speech.
Paul gives us a command regarding our speech in verse 29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
This word for corrupting can also mean rotten, bad, or of no value, even like spoiled fish. Paul is commanding us to let nothing come out of our mouths that is rotten and fit for the trash can. On the contrary, all of our speech must be good for edification, appropriate for the occasion—speech that gives grace.
Edification means to build up. Our speech must build up others, rather than tear down. It must be constructive. Think of the other person as a construction site, with a sign on the fence that shows a picture of what this person, God’s building, is becoming. All our words should contribute to the construction of this person into a glorious building for God.
And the speech should be fit for the occasion, meaning that we should be thoughtful in our speech, intentionally speaking in ways that this person needs to grow up into holiness and likeness to Christ. Our speech should convey grace from God to others who need it.
But when we speak in anger, we do the opposite. We tear down what we are supposed to build up. Is it worth it to vent our anger when we’re destroying the ones for whom Christ died? Or to tear down those in need of Christ’s grace, like our unbelieving children or family members. Do you see the contrast between this kind of speech that graciously and thoughtfully builds up and that useless and rotten speech that reeks of spoiled fish?
During a conflict, say with your husband or wife, do you pour forth rotten speech? Or is your speech gracious, and good for edification, fit for the occasion of growing this person into Christ’s image?
Consider the cost of your angry speech in your home, and how it only tears down rather than builds up. The cost is severely stunting your family’s spiritual well-being.
C. Grieving the Holy Spirit
Third, Paul says that our sinful anger can grieve the Holy Spirit of God. Look with me in verse 30: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”
Did you know that angry outbursts grieve the Holy Spirit of God? What does this mean? To grieve means to provoke, offend, or cause sorrow. This is the parallel word that Mark uses when the Lord Jesus was angry with the Pharisees; he was grieved at their hardness of heart. Your unrepentant, sinful anger can offend the Holy Spirit. What is the result of this?
In 1 Thess. 5:19 Paul makes a similar statement concerning the result of unrepentant sin: “Do not quench the Spirit.” To quench means to extinguish. We can extinguish the power of the Spirit in our sanctification by unrepentant sin, and, for our purposes, unrepentant anger.
Paul instructed Timothy that the men would pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or quarreling. But how can men pray in the Holy Spirit when they are given to anger? And Peter says that if we dishonor our wives, then this can hinder our prayers.
Though he always remains with true Christians, the Holy Spirit may withdraw his felt presence and power from us when we embrace and hold onto unrepentant sin. The same is true of anger. If we are embracing sinful anger in our hearts, then we cannot expect the Spirit’s blessing.
Do you see the cost of sinful anger? Embracing anger in our hearts grieves the Spirit and gives opportunity to the devil.
But there is one action that the Holy Spirit will immediately bless in such a situation, our repentance. Though he is grieved by our sin, he stirs up a true Christian to godly sorrow and repentance.
III. Conclusion
Brothers and sisters, if the law convicts us of sin, if we are shown before it to be guilty – the Savior stands ready to forgive you. He is “a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love,” and he will not forsake you, (Neh. 9:17) but will cleanse you and give you his good Spirit to instruct you.
This is a heavy text that affects us all. Who among us has not been sinfully angry in some of the ways that I’m describing? And so, that famous prayer of Augustine should be our prayer tonight, Lord, give what you command, and command what you will.
If you are in Christ, go to Him, and repent of your sin. He is willing, and He is able to redeem you. He can free you from the grip of the sin of anger by the power of the Holy Spirit.
If you are outside of Christ, the Father’s face is set against you in unabated anger. There is only one way to propitiate his anger, and that is through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. He died to atone for the righteous anger of God against the sins I have been talking about.
Today is still a day of grace for those who run to Christ. Dear friend, will you come to him tonight and find forgiveness and mercy in the arms of the Savior.These last two sermons have been thick with the law, and God willing, I look forward to speaking next week about how Christ frees us from this sinful anger, and what he puts on in its place.
Brice Bigham serves as the Director of Development & Marketing at CBTS. He is an M.Div. Student at CBTS and serves as a Deacon at Grace Reformed Baptist Church of Owensboro, KY. He lives with his wife Alina and their four children. Brice particularly enjoys church history, homesteading, and spending time with his family.
