*Editor’s Note: The following is a sermon manuscript in a three-part series preached by Pastor Brice Bigham. To listen to that sermon, click here.
Once all three sermon manuscripts have been posted on the CBTS, they will be linked together here.
This evening, we’re concluding our brief series on sinful anger. The goal of this series has been to help us discern where sinful anger is at work in our lives and to equip us with Scripture truth that will help us to bring it into subjection to Christ.
Over the past two weeks, we’ve distinguished sinful anger from righteous anger and shown the roots of both. We also discussed the fruits of anger, or what anger does, which Paul says must be put away from us.
But until this point, we’ve not said much at all about what we are to do about our sinful anger. We know what we should not do or what we should put off, but what must we know in order to bring this sin into subjection to Christ, and to replace it with righteous thoughts, words, and actions?
Some of you may feel convicted by the law, but powerless to do what is good. The law alone does not provide the needed motivation to put this sin to death. It’s only through the gospel that we find the power and the motivation to keep the law of God, replacing sinful anger with kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and love.
My goal in the final sermon of this series is to show how the righteous replacement for sinful anger is given to all believers through the contemplation and application of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
This is the message of Paul in Ephesians 4:32-5:2, which will be our text for this evening. Would you please read along with me, beginning in verse 31?
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Paul says, there is transforming gospel grace for angry sinners.
This evening, we will consider this text under three headings.
The Apostle Paul, after commanding the Ephesians to put off sinful anger, gave three directives that were to stir them up to live in the power and truth of the Gospel of Christ. All three commands point to what God has done in Christ to remove his anger from us.
In each of these, Paul gives a command or an imperative, and then he grounds it in an indicative, or truth, saying something like “…as God has.” In doing this, he shows that it is in remembering what Christ has done for us that we will receive power and motivation to imitate him in our relationships with others.
I. Forgive as God Forgives You
The first of these is found in 4:32, where Paul uses the verb “Be.” He then lists three qualities: kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiving. These three qualities flow forth from the way that God has treated us.
Look at it with me:
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Brothers and sisters, at the outset, be reminded of this glorious truth: if you are in Christ, then God is not judicially angry with you anymore. God has forgiven you fully and freely in Christ Jesus. This is remarkable because all of us deserve the opposite.
As we’ve said in this series, God is righteously angry with sinners. And at one time, this included you and me. Before our conversion, our lives were only sin—we lived as a law unto ourselves, at enmity with God. He was angry with us every day, and we deserved eternal wrath from an angry God.
Does it not amaze you that you are sitting in this place and not in hell? Do we remember what it is that we deserve? This should humble us and even make us weep. God had every right to rid the earth of us, but he showed us mercy.
Think of the wonderful grace of God toward you, expressed while you were his enemy. He saved us, he delivered us from the domain of darkness. He called us out of that darkness and into His marvelous light. You owed an unimaginable debt to God because of your sin, and the Lord has waived it fully, showing to you undeserved kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness in the Gospel.
Let’s think about these three words: kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness.
First, God has been kind to us. He shows benevolence and love when he should show wrath and judgment. He speaks to us in sweetness and in love. He binds up the brokenhearted and strengthens the knees of those who are weak. He lavishes us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. He fills us with good things. His mercies are new every morning. What unspeakable kindness God has shown to us.
God is full of tenderheartedness toward us. That is, He is compassionate toward us. When we sin, as his children, he’s no longer full of judicial anger, but of Fatherly displeasure, concern, and compassion. He does not cast us off, but he speaks tenderly to us. He’s not impatiently exasperated with us, but his love is stirred up for us as a Father. He knows our frame, and he knows that we are but dust, weak people, afflicted by sin. And his heart is ready and willing to help his children in their weakness and sin.
And God has forgiven us, fully and freely. God does not bear a grudge against us any longer. He remembers our sin no more. He does not bring up to us past offenses or beat us up for the failings that we have repented of, because he does not regard them at all. Even when we sin against his grace as Christians, the Lord is quick to forgive us and will do so “seventy times seven.” He is always ready to forgive when we sin. He always waits for us, as the Father of the prodigal did, to run and embrace us when we come to him in repentance. He is the one who rejoices in heaven at the one sinner who repents.
Why are we talking about this in a sermon on sinful anger? Well, brethren, if we are really enjoying how the Lord has treated us so graciously in the Gospel, how can this not fill us with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness towards one another?
The Lord told a story of a man who was forgiven 10,000 talents, but who then went out and imprisoned his servant who owed him only 100 denarii. I don’t know if you have thought much about those numbers, but there’s quite a difference between them. Ten thousand talents, according to one rough estimate, might come to something like 7 to 8 billion dollars in today’s money. In contrast, 100 denarii was only one hundred days from a common laborer, which might come closer to something like 15,000 dollars.
Do you see the radical difference in the value of these two debts? They are incomparable. The debt of the first man is exponentially higher than the second. Yet, the man who was just forgiven billions of dollars went out and choked his servant who owed him thousands. This man had not grasped the significance of the forgiveness that had been given to him.
And brothers and sisters, if we struggle with anger, is it because we have forgotten how immense a debt that God has forgiven us? Will we be angry with fellow sinners whose faults toward us are exponentially less?
Are you angry over small debts, while failing to remember the infinite debt that God has forgiven you? Have you forgotten to marvel at the grace of God toward your own vile sin? Remember, brethren, what God has done for you. Why should we be angry at anyone when we have offended God more than anyone has offended us, and yet, he has shown us mercy?
Can you find no kindness for your fellow sinners? Can you not feel compassion for those who are made of the same stuff as you? Can you not stand ready to forgive those who wrong you?We’re told of the unforgiving servant, that “in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.” And the Lord gives a sober warning to unforgiving people at the conclusion of the parable:
“So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Are you angry with another from your heart? Humble yourselves at the feet of Christ. Remember how great a debt you owed him, and yet how kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving He has been toward you. Let that linger in your soul until you find kindness, compassion, and a forgiving spirit flowing out of gospel grace toward your spouse, your children, your fellow church members, and others.
May God help us to put away anger and to forgive as we are forgiven.
II. Beloved Imitators of God
But Paul continues with a second command in chapter 5, verse 1,
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.”
He says, because God is like this, because he is kind, tenderhearted, and forgives our sin, and because we are beloved children, we should be imitators of our Father.
Here, Paul reminds us of 1 John 3:1 – “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”
Think of it, brethren, think of the love God has shown us in adopting us as his sons and daughters. What does he bear with in us? What sins do we commit every day that grieve him? How many things do we fail to do every day? Yet he calls us beloved children, because of our union with Jesus Christ, His true Son.
We’ve displeased him again and again, but he has no wrath for us! He has for us no vengeance, annoyance, frustration, or anger. Brothers and sisters, if we are in Christ, God has toward us only kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and love. We are, right now—not will be, but right now—beloved children! He is for us, and he seeks our good.
When we sin, he has only fatherly displeasure and grief toward us that earnestly desires our repentance, restoration, and reconciliation to him. He does not give us the cold shoulder, cast us off, kick us out, or write us off. In the foolish things we do, we stir up his compassion.
Listen to Psalm 103
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide [dispute], nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.
If you are in Christ, do you believe what these Scriptures say about you? Do you know the immense comfort and blessedness that comes from the hand of your Father to you, a beloved child of God?
And not only this, but our adoption as sons and daughters gives us the right to petition God for help in our weak condition. We have full access to the throne of grace, where he delights to hear our earnest and humble prayers concerning our sins and failures, even our sinful anger. He not only hears them, but he is pleased to answer them according to his will, and generously supplies what we are lacking, filling us with joy and new obedience.
But there’s something else we need to think about.
Children generally share the attributes of their parents. Isn’t it amazing how our children take on our physical features and dispositions? And Paul calls us here, as those forgiven and adopted by God the Father, to imitate God.
God saved you so that you would be like Him—that you would be renewed in His image.
And what is God like when it comes to the subject of anger? Listen to the way Nehemiah describes him in 9:17:
You are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
All these glorious attributes we enjoy for ourselves as beloved children. It’s because God is like this that we can sing about our salvation. But if we are those who enjoy these attributes personally, then we should and we will, by the Spirit, walk in increasing likeness to our Father.
No one is wronged more than God, yet Nehemiah says he is ready to forgive. When we persist in sin against him, his compassion is stirred as he stands ready to forgive us and receive us back. Our repentance is necessary, but he has a readiness to forgive at any moment the sinner returns. And brethren, if we enjoy this, then should we not show the same readiness towards sinners that we have received?
He says, God is gracious and merciful. He generously gives to sinners what they lack, and he overlooks and pardons those things of which he should hold in contempt. His gracious spirit is seen in His desires to lavish upon sinners things that they do not deserve in themselves. God is not petty or embittered, but quick to show mercy, to pardon, and to overlook past offenses.
But will we, having enjoyed this, then hold fellow sinners in contempt? Will we be petty, and exacting, and embittered? Will we hold grudges against them? Should we not show the same merciful and gracious disposition towards weak sinners that we ourselves have received?
And then he says, Though the sins of men against him are grievous, God is slow to anger. God does not get angry quickly, but he is quick to forbear, patient, and longsuffering. Consider how gently he deals with his people in the Scriptures—speaking peace and comfort where he is entitled to exercise vengeance.
And hasn’t He been slow to anger with you, dear brother or sister? Hasn’t he patiently borne with you, and gently used the rod to correct you? Will we, who are recipients of such Fatherly love, be quick to anger or easily irritated with our kids, or our spouse? Should we not be known by others as one slow to anger, like our Father?
But it’s not just that God is neutral with us and leaves us alone in a corner, or at arm’s length, so he doesn’t get angry with us again. No, God abounds in steadfast love toward us. He leads us with the cords of kindness and speaks tenderly to us. He is that constant presence with us to bless, to guide, to protect, to feed, and to care for.
Brethren, as recipients of this abounding love, can we withhold this from those around us? Can we allow the love that we have received for ourselves to be obscured by sinful anger toward others? Will we allow our selfishness, pride, and idolatry to extinguish our love for God and others, and cause us to show anger toward them, rather than love?
In every temptation to become sinfully angry, there is an opportunity for us to image God, and rather to show grace, mercy, patience, and love toward another poor sinner, to point them to the Savior who has been gracious with you. Is it worth it to get angry and lose such an opportunity for the blessing of others?
Such anger can destroy our witness. You may tell your children of the gospel, but if you are consistently showing them sinful anger, then we should not be surprised when they misunderstand it and reject it. But our children, and others, should instead see in us what it is like to be a beloved child of God.
He is a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.”
If you are in Christ, it is the pleasure of God to conform you to His own image, and all the power of heaven is at his disposal to make you a new creation in Christ, to be like Him. Angry child of God, go to the mercy seat, and He will certainly help you.
III. Love as God Loves You
But there is a third command that Paul gives in chapter 5, verse 2:
And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
This third command, walk in love, means to carry on a heart and disposition of love toward others everywhere and every day of your life. The nature of this love is described in the comparative clause that follows: “as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.”
When I read this, I think of the hostility that the Savior endured from sinners. He came to live as a perfect man among sinners. He tenderly bore with a group of foolish disciples who often sinned in his presence. He patiently walked with Judas Iscariot, who would betray him. When the Son of God was arrested, he gave himself up, not resisting in anger.
Though he was innocent, when he was reviled and struck, he did not revile or strike in return. He endured false accusations and torture without wrath. When he was whipped and hung on a cross, he did not curse and rage against the wicked men who hung him there.
Rather, he was, at that moment, filled with compassion toward his persecutors and was ready to forgive even those who murdered him.
He endured all of this for us, who were his enemies. We’ve sinned against him again and again in thought, word, and deed, and yet he loved us and gave himself up for us. He was not just willing to forgive us, but he was willing to give up his very life! We’ve manifested some of the most offensive behaviors to such a Holy man as the Son of God, yet he has loved us and given up his life for us!
And Paul says that it’s not just the Lord Jesus, but it is the Father who is pleased by this. The text says that this was a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. God the Father was pleased by such a life-giving love as the Lord Jesus had for sinners like you and me.
Pastor Sam has given a biblical definition of love that well describes this. Love is “the desire and delight in the welfare of the object loved that leads to the practical desire and endeavor to promote that welfare.”
In loving us, the Lord desires and delights in our welfare, and this leads him to the practical desire and endeavor to promote our welfare. He delights in our salvation and our sanctification. He loved us so much, that He, the Son of God, laid down his sinless life for us.
Christ gave himself up for us when we were unlovely, and when we were at enmity with Him. We were those who cursed him and beat him and spit upon him and nailed him to the tree. Yet he loved us, and suffered for us, that we might be redeemed, restored, and reconciled to him.
And here is the point, brethren: as recipients of such marvelous love, should we not be willing to bear with those who annoy us? Should we not be willing to lay our lives down for those with whom we are offended? And if we should love them to the point of laying our lives down for them, can we not also stop our mouths from shouting at them? Can we not spare them from our rotten speech? Or slanderous and exaggerated accusations?
How can we lay our lives down for others if we are quick to get angry at them when our desires are not met? How can we become angry when they don’t cooperate with our desires for control? Or when we are criticized? How can we be angry when they revile us, or speak disrespectfully to us, if we are to lay our lives down for them? How can we become indignant when they accuse us, if we are to lay our very lives down for them?
Can we let the man who makes a mistake in judgment or drives slowly in front of us go away in peace with a prayer for his soul and safety? Haven’t we made the same kinds of mistakes in traffic and desired grace? Is where we are going so much more important that we will curse this man rather than seek his blessing?
If we are to lay our lives down for them, can we not deal with our children’s sin in loving discipline that seeks their good, rather than raising our voice and shouting at them about how bad they are? Can we not love our spouse enough to gently and patiently correct them, rather than throwing up our hands and blowing up at them in impatience at their sin?
16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
The Savior laid down his life for us, wretched sinners who sorely provoked him. Will we deny love and blessing to those who wrong us in lesser ways? Let us not forfeit the opportunity to love our spouse, to love our kids, to love the driver in front of us, when we have received such amazing love from our God.
He who is forgiven much, loves much. “But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” (Luke 7:47)
Those who are forgiven much should not be angry people.
IV. Conclusion
Brethren, to sum this up, what will we do about our anger? Will you go home and try to pull yourself up, say some kind things, and determine to do better? No, brethren, we must go to the cross. We must live there. We must stay there until we grasp both the horrifying depth of our sin, and the most gracious, patient, and glorious love of God in Christ. Then our anger toward other sinners will begin to melt away.
As our understanding of these things grows, you will see the grip of sinful anger loosens—and be able to mortify it by the power of the Spirit.
There is a triune solution to your sinful anger. Not only do you have the transforming grace of Christ, but you have access to the Father through prayer, and he delights to rid you of this sin and to replace it with righteousness. And the Holy Spirit has been given to you, and lives within you to powerfully cleanse your anger and renew you into the image of Christ.
If you are in Christ, then you have everything that you need in His Word and Spirit to bring this sin in subjection to Christ and to replace it with righteous character. May God help us to put away sinful anger and to replace it with Christlikeness.
Brice Bigham serves as the Director of Development & Marketing at CBTS. He is an M.Div. Student at CBTS and serves as a Deacon at Grace Reformed Baptist Church of Owensboro, KY. He lives with his wife Alina and their four children. Brice particularly enjoys church history, homesteading, and spending time with his family.
